I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
