I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
