Pappa wants mamma naked
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize