You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
