Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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