So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
