I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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