How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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