One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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