break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
