I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
