i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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