she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
