I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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