whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She is in my trunk
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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