Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
