I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
