this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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