You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
