I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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