You really coming over, don't trick.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
