Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
