I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
