i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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