My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Oh god it's open bar.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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