You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im holly from the hills drunk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
