Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
only if we run a train.
done.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
