he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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