Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
