So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
