Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
