i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
