I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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