well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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