my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
