I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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