It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
