Dual....:-)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
