So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
