i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
