why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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