I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
