i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
