So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You ruined the universe
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize