P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
