just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize