My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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