The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize