Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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