They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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