It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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