I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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