I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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