a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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