I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
