I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
