So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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