So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
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When did angry sex become our thing?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize